Fat Man Thinning has Moved

Well this blog was a good idea, but it didn't pan out very well. Likewise I haven't done so well in the weight loss department either, but I am working at a job where I have to walk so that's good. At any rate I've moved my writing and weight loss efforts to www.rmichaelfreed.com/wordpress. I also found a neat way to donate to some worthy causes. See below.

The boxes below link to sites where you can donate simply by clicking a link on their website. You click and sponsors donate. Click everyday!

Starting All Over Again for the Umpteenth Time

Sometimes I wonder if it's all worth it. Seems if I loose a little weight I wind up just putting it all back on and then some. They say it needs to be a lifestyle change, but I just don't seem to be able to put it together for the long hall, but ignoring it doesn't seem to work either. I weighed in at the Y yesterday. I'd ballooned to 350 lbs. So today I started the diet and exercise routine again. I worked out at the Y this morning and have felt like crap ever since. Tired all day today. Just keep plugging away I guess.

Can't Believe I Lost Weight

335.5 lbs - Couldn't believe it when I stepted on the scale today. Down 2 lbs since I weighed in 3 days ago. I haven't execised and I would call my eating habits out of control. I just don't get it, but thank God for small miracles I guess. This morning was rough. I couldn't get going and than had a total melt down emotion wise. Guess the stress and the Bipolar got the best of me. I recovered and tried to walk, but my knee and my hips hurt, so I swam for 45 minutes instead. Not much of a cardio workout, but it will do. Did ok with eating untill dinner then kind of went overboard. Finished the week exercising 4 out of 7 days, not great but not bad either. I guess I'll just have to keep plugging away at this health thing.

Oh, Well

Another day down. Didn't exercise yesterday or today. If I don't do it first thing it doesn't seem to get done. Dieting could be going better as well. Time to get back on track.

Posting Just to Say I Posted

I think I was too embarrassed to post yesterday. Only three days in and I fell off the eating and exercising wagon big time. I didn’t exercise and I binged like crazy. Today hasn’t been much better. I still may go work out when Linda gets home. Seems like there is so much I want and need to do that I just can’t really get going on anything. I told myself I was going to post here everyday, that I was going to exercise everyday, but it seems that by doing that I just set myself up for failure. And the more I focus on eating sensibly the greater the urge to binge. It’s as if a part of me keeps telling myself that I don’t deserve to be healthy, that I don’t deserve to succeed. That I can’t do it. Not just with diet and exercise, but with life in general. I beat myself up and I’m my own worst enemy. Plus there never seems to be enough time to do all the things I need to, but instead of just doing some of them I put off doing everything. Conflicting priorities and the inability to prioritize and stick with it. This is a pretty rambling post, but at least I posted. I did something I started out to do today.

Day Three and Counting

337.5 lbs. - I got up early today (5:45), read the Bible a while, ate breakfast and headed to the "Y" when Linda left for school. I walked for 45 minutes, my back and hips really bothered me today. They bothered me a little the last two days, but even more so today. I've had trouble with that ever since I got new shoes in May. So maybe I need different shoes or arch supports or something. I guess if walking is too painful for a while I can go to riding a bike or swimming, but I really like walking. Well it's only about 8:20 so I have most of the day to try and accomplish some things, if I can stay awake. I'm not used to getting up this early, but I'm trying to give up my night owl ways.

On the plus side, three nights in a row I've left the computer and gone up stairs to bed without eating. Thats often a major binge time for me. So I guess I'll give myself a pat on the back for that.

Day Two and Already the Cravings Begin

337.5 lbs - Down a pound and a half since yesterday. If I could make every day that good I'd have it made, but I know there will be ups and downs. My weight can fluctuate several pounds in a day.

Well I walked for about 45 minutes and swam for 30 today. Linda had the day off school so she went with me. The urge to binge has been there a little last night and bad today. So far I'm doing ok. Not completely avoiding the urge, but making more or less wise choices with regard to foods and amounts.

Theres a lot going on right now and the presures always make me want to eat. Then when I focus on my diet and exercisre it seems I have trouble getting the other things done that I need to get done. Oh well one day at a time I guess little by little I'll get there.

Fatter than Ever, but Off to a Good Start

339 lbs - That's what I weighed in at today at the YMCA. That's in jeans and tennis shoes, but anyway you slice it, it's the most I've ever weighed. The home scale quit registering at about 318 and those 20 lbs. crept on over the last few months. Today is the start of a new year, the start of a new life. I walked for about 50 minutes today and ate sensibly. Even when we ate out at Carlos O'Kellys (a Christmas gift from friends), I took it easy on the chips and salsa and had a grilled chicken salad for supper. One day down, now if I can string together 365 more like it perhaps I'll celebrate next year a much healthier person.